Can You Really Hoop?
Disclaimer: I began writing this post about a year ago and never shared it. After replaying the interview with my pastor, I just couldn't resist sharing it today! Hope you enjoy. -Kandi
Circa March 2016
Court•ship: (1) a period during which a couple develop a romantic relationship, especially with a view to marriage.
synonyms: romance, love affair, affair; engagement
(2) behavior designed to persuade someone to marry or develop a romantic relationship with one.
Lately there's been shows that highlight guys like Peter Gunz, Rich Dollaz, ya know the "creep" squad. But why not as much show time for guys like Papose? Is he not just as relatable as those guys who can't seem to keep it in their pants? You'll notice guys like Peter (RHOA) and Kirk Frost (LHHATL) didn't start appearing as much in your living room until they completely began to ignore their marital vows. If you've ever read my post on "situationships", you'd agree that's more of the millennial speed. Why is that? Why can't our generation get it right, commit and stay faithful?
Now I'm sure men have a laundry list of reasons that women themselves contribute to, but today it's not about them. Today it's about you, THE MEN. Today I want to know, can you really hoop? Can you really take time to court a woman?
After several conversations with single, married, young, old, I've come to the conclusion that's there's a few things guys want to be in order before entering the arena.
1. Stability.
2. Security.
3. A chance to get it right.
Around this time last year, I sat down with my pastor to interview him on his views of what it means to court someone, I think you'd be interested to hear what I got!
Me: Thanks for taking the time to meet with me pastor. At the rare age of 29, overseeing multiple generations in the church, I thought you'd be perfect for this topic! It seems like in our generation we've completely missed the purpose of family and more specifically marriage. I thought it'd be a good idea to take it all the way old school, and discuss what it means to court/be courted. I'm asking you this specifically because I tend to give a woman's perspective. I have to give something to my guys this time! So, what does a courtship mean to you?
Fellas this is for you, lace up your sneakers, we're taking it to the court!
This is the good part! I brought these points up with Pastor Josh and was pretty intrigued by his response! Listen to his take on it here:
Hear more from Pastor Josh on his personal site: joshuaeggerson.com
Wow right? For ladies too, weren't you surprised? All the while men have had this hidden playbook and women have tried to stay in line with it. In reality, for the right person that book could vanish in seconds! Makes you think back on some of your relationships and wonder were you even on the same page...
I had a guy tell me once that he seen me three times before he ever approached me. The more we go to know each other, the more he wanted to have his "play book" in order. Long story short, that game went horrible! When I first met him I thought he was ready for the pros or at least at his age, the collegiate level. The reality was he'd never even been off the bench.
So now I have a little homework for the fellas. Before approaching your next interest, take a step back, pull out your playbook, analyze what's really holding you back, then ask yourself, "Can I really hoop"?
It's not fact or fiction, just my opinion- Kandi