He Just Couldn’t Trust You Yet

Puerto Vallarta, Mexico Feb2016

Originally when I began to write this post it was right after I got back from Mexico. I’d just turned 25 and had the time of my life! I was going to write about how blessed I’ve been in this season. How I went from a broke and almost broken college student to a successful working woman. About how God couldn’t give me all these things in Atlanta because even though I loved him he just couldn’t trust me yet.

A few months back when everyone went out and bought that lotto ticket, I didn’t. My reasoning was simple, if I was supposed to get rich that fast I’d be rich already. I’ve learned that having things before it’s time to will drive you crazy!

So that’s what my blog was going to be about. If I had what I have now in Atlanta there’s no telling where I’d be. I mean I wouldn’t be stupid, but would I be faithful? And although that’s not my direction for this post anymore I want you to understand what I meant by that. Sometimes God can’t bless you with things because he just can’t trust you yet. He can’t trust you to use your free will in the midst of his blessings and still remember who gave them to you. Ok cool, if that went over your head just read it again.

The events over the last two weeks and even today is why I decided to change the subject a bit. Right now I am headed to Fort Smith, AR to help bury one of my grandmother’s best friends. One of my mom’s best friend’s mother. One of my best friend’s grandmother, basically like one of my own. I pulled over to type this because I’m doing this right after the doors closed of a church that changed my life. On the day I seen a 7 year old give her life to Christ and be baptized. A week after my cousin also passed away, it’s now 6 days until his burial. Today is about 14days after a dear friend to me lost his battle to cancer. It’s also been a month since I was transitioned into a position at work that just may not be a fit for me. Today is a day that should really be driving me crazy. But it’s not! Somehow I have peace right now in all of this. And that’s when it clicked! God trusts me. In all the tragedy and adversity I’ve seen in my life God has been preparing me for days like this. To still walk in the doors of the church grateful that he’s still in the blessing business regardless of the situation. That I can lean on him when I’m worn completely out. He is literally my strength and my redeemer. My heart yearns to continue to grow closer to him. He can give me these battles now because he trusts me. He trusts me to speak life into my family during our time of loss. To stay faithful to my little even when it’s not a lot. And to praise him through it all.

Usually I have a clever way to end my posts but I don’t think this one needs it. Just ask yourself, can he trust you yet?