He Looks Good On Paper
"We were never meant to be, baby we just happened" - Kanye West (Knock You Down, 2009)
I was listening to the radio one morning and someone called in asking "I have a guy that is super nice, has his stuff together but he's quite boring to me. Should I continue to date him?" Immediately my answer was NO! That no isn't a never, but right now, definitely a no. Sticking with him is not only selfish but it can be damaging. Why you ask? Simple, it's because you settled. And man, settling can lead to a lot of unexpected emotions later on. Emotions like anger, resentment, curiosity, etc., all because he "looks good on paper".
Now when I say he looks good on paper, I'm referring to the types of guys that every one tells you you need. The mr.perfect, the build-a-bear man that all women want. It's almost like a resume, they have all the skillsets on paper to get the job done but what about once they've been hired? In my time I've encountered a few "resumes" we'll call it and since I've found them to be pretty common I thought I'd share. I mean after all, on paper it makes sense!
Nice Guys Finish Last: This is that really sweet guy. You know, the one that always sends good morning text messages, brings flowers on every date, and remembered your favorite color after just one conversation. That guy, the one that everybody claims to want but most aren't typically attracted to and honestly aren't used to. He's pretty reserved, kind of corny but braves through all of that to talk to you. So what do you do? You give him a chance because you tell yourself you don't want to pass him up just because he's "too nice". Crazy that "too nice" is even a thing, but it is. Not because you don't want to be treated nicely but because that's all he has to offer you. In fact if it wasn't for how nice he was, you would've blown him off long ago. And sis (I promise to stop using this phrase soon because, tired lol), if that's all that's keeping you there, let him go. He may very well bet a nice guy but he isn't YOUR guy. He may be hurt but time will pass and there will come a day when someone can truly appreciate him for it. But if you hold on to him despite the fact that you're not happy, you will hate it. You will look back years later upset with him because YOU chose to stay. He will try to fix it but he can't. Spare him now, nice guys only finish last when they weren't selected FIRST. (You'll catch that the second time you read it lol)
Mr. RIGHT Now: This man is FINE! He's the one every girl wants and somehow you snagged him. He's fit, financially stable and you swoon every time you see him. But the gag is, he comes with a world full of baggage. Maybe it's his kids, his groupies, his late nights out, or his check list that he has to complete before he can fully give himself to you. This one is tricky because based on his appearance, he's the man of your dreams! But these are the same dreams he forgets to support, even when you're the #1 fan of his. This is the one you'll try to change for sure. You'll love on him, bite your tongue, and appear happy in public to save face. However, in the end you'll find yourself frustrated because you've given so much to a man who's not interested in doing the same. Like the nice guy he'll try to fix it but he can't. He is who he is and once again you settled. This time for what's popular. One day that light will dim and you'll realize the "perfect guy" wasn't perfect for you.
Convenient One: This is the guy that you've always known. The one that you're used to. He's probably a dog but leaving him is admitting you were wrong for staying this long, as a result you settle. And let's be honest, the thought of stepping outside of your comfort zone is terrifying! So you stay, hoping that one day your loyalty will be worth it, and it might. He may even marry you but what happens when you want more? When you're no longer that little girl that fell in love but instead the woman looking for a leader in her man? Not to say being familiar is a bad thing but sometimes being too comfortable is.
The Wait: Here's the good part, the good news. There is a perfect guy destined just for you. He may not even be the supreme one on paper to others, but just right for you. He'll be charming, patient, attentive, majority of what you thought you wanted and exactly what you needed.
So it ends today. No more settling for the security, the approval or the justification. No more allowing the cover to force you to read the entire book. You're not missing anything you were meant to see, and whether good or bad once you see it, believe it. Let's move forward, allow that correct somebody to find you. You won't regret it!
It's not fact or fiction, just my opinion -Kandi